Tom Cruise IS nuts...

I've read several blogs recently commenting on Tom Cruise's recent ventures into nutty-ness and I'm finally ready to make my own rant on his wack-o "religion" and the Hollywood schmucks that practice it.

By now it's no secret that Tom Cruise has taken on the cause to spread the word of the "church" of scientology. For those of you still wondering about this pseudo-religion, let me sum it up for you... Anyone ever see the movie "Battlefield Earth" with John Travolta? (cricket chirps) No? Well, that crap film was written by the same nut-job (L. Ron Hubbard) who created the "church" of scientology and from what I understand many of the principles and history of the "church" are outlined in that abyssmal film.

In scientology, Hubbard proposes that an alien-lord named "Xenu" sent bad spirits to exist on earth over 75 million years ago. Scientologists believe that these "bad" spirits cause most of the mental illness and other issues we suffer from as residents of this planet. Furthermore, they believe scientology is the only religion that can address and "cure" us of said illnesses. (Pause for uncontrollable laughter.)

I know what you're thinking, WHERE DO I SIGN UP??!!

Truth be told, scientology has about as much to do with faith and religion as visiting Krispy Kream twice a day has to do with losing weight. The "church" requires large financial donations to join and even more donations to show that you are making "progress" on your quest to eliminate what scientologists call "preclears". They use ridiculous electronic devices to measure your well-being and strictly forbid psychiatry (as evidenced by Tom Cruises tirade on the "Today Show") for treatment of mental illnesses.

If you ask me the whole thing smacks of an Amway-style pyramid scheme... you join, pay us lots of money for useless products/services and receive all these "benefits" (i.e. spiritual enlightenment), then you convince other friends/ family to join, they pay us even more money and you receive even more "benefits" (spirtual enlightenment)! That makes Tom Cruise the equivalent of that sleazy neighbor whose always dropping by your house to talk to you about a "great new business opportunity".

Unfortunately, the once quite-cute Katie Holmes has signed up for this spirtual-Amway. Let's pray she comes to her senses before these scientology wack-os have her peddling their "religion" to Dawson and Pacey!

Here's a short list of celebrity scientologists so that the next time you see one of these folks on TV or in the movies you can say to yourself, "Dude, what's up with Xenu?"

• Tom Cruise (celebrity wack-o #1)
• John Travolta (celebrity wack-o #2)
• Leah Remini ("King of Queens" and Zack's summertime girlfriend on "Saved By the Bell")
• Greta Van Susteren (creepy-faced chick from Fox News)
• Kirstie Alley (bloated, Diane-replacement from "Cheers")
• Giovanni Ribisi (ironically, in most of his acting roles he "acts" mentally challenged. How does your precious scientology feel about that Ribisi?)

"Blood drives are a pyramid scheme perpetuated by Dracula and his night slaves."- Master Shake (Aqua Teen Hunger Force)